Running over miles of marshland and chill spring trees, immolated with love of the wild, roaring laughter - energy from inspiration by surroundings and body.
Hill rising above house. higher wooded hill looming over that.
After violence and destruction, quiet enlightenment.
Like bodies newly granted brains and thrown into the world, I met her with my eyes, widened, N DID NOT LET go, like her, until we both crossed paths.
Please everyone stop being so aloof and mysterious, show me the hidden facets of yourself immediately, those pearls at the bottom of the ocean that makes everyone unique
I'm sick to death of your whispering
3. I get scared of how to say it(?) I think you're v attractive and I love your company - it'd be awful to lose you. Can we be really cuddly friends, would that work for you?
2. I got scared cos I don't want a relationship
1. I felt like things were moving too fast and I wasn't sure where they were headed or if I communicated anything/enough. Scared I was getting left behind. This feeling always terrifies me, causes a violent reaction. Wasn't so bad with you cos you were very tactful. But I still behaved wrong, I think, not saying anything earlier.
oh i shouldnt do that to her should i mel, that's not something you want to see, that's scary. let's play some music. and i'll carry on telling you stuff about when i saw this band and ho I looked in his eyes. I either looked a fool or that I thought he'd failed us. Immediately I could see he was different to everyone, he was more like me, if only from that look. I always seem to act on principle though.
I am weird, and I'm a 'crazy person'. What intelligent person could not be in this world?
Exclusive heterosexuality pisses me off.
Line of blonde girls. One looks at me. I look back as she passes, caught off-guard. She's sort of doing that attempt to look left whilst you're looking forward. The next girl ahead I try to ignore. I swear I just about see her look at me out of the very corner of my eye. So I look at her and she's stopped now, mouth gone sort of squidgy.
If she's looking at me I want her. Even as the next does an angry sigh as I pass - I imagine. Even as I glance pointedly at a woman who looks disconnected from this fashionable shallow sort of look, who doesn't give me a moment's thought, and anyway I'd only want to fuck her by the look.
I don't want you, I don't want you. Why do we do this.
Hey, this walking in the street game I think I am getting inured to, though.
Oh god and then I see that lesbian wind-up bitch.
The tribal warrior would abstain sexually for several days before actually going to battle. This would form part of the ritual to become the warrior, rather than simply a member of the tribe. After returning from battle, another lot of harrowing rituals would be undergone to revert back again (avoiding trauma).
Posted this ages ago, before the short oil obsession, but oh... how relevant... current situation, exactly.
I'm not miserable yet...
Just got to get through this with my dignity intact, same as before. No problem.
I'm in love can't I just enjoy it?! No, we know that, we accepted that. Cos we're special :)
Just get through this weekend. Fuck,I forgot the alcohol. looooool
Actually finding new friends recently.
Now I'm starting to go really weird.
If I am honest about myself, I will lose what few friends I have. I am always going to be lonely.